Current...Past...Sin...Alexander...Forum...Notes...Survey...D-land

Two Struggles: One External, One Internal
2003-02-25 - 2:27 p.m.

Sindor woke up early the next evening, but I was not ready to leave the comfort of the couch. As Sindor went upstairs to check on Henmi, I rolled over and vainly tried to fall asleep. After a few minutes of tossing and turning, I gave in and got up. As I was walking up the stairs into the kitchen, I decided that I had better check on Soterius and Adhemar.

I found Ella in the classroom, polishing swords. I told her I was going out.

"Why now? Have you even seen Sindor today?" she asked, frowning at me.

I shook my head at her. "I need to check on something. I will be back later," I responded, turning from her to leave.

"Wait, Lex!" she called after me forcefully. "I know you are going to see Adhemar."

I stopped. "I just want to see what Soterius is up to. He is a threat, you know."

"I do know. But I also know deep down inside of you that you hope to find Adhemar and Soterius are doing something together."

I turned around to face her. "What if I am?"

"Do not hurt Adhemar," she demanded.

"And why not?" I asked, raising my eyebrows at her. "Are you a part of the 'We Love Adhemar' fan club, too?"

"No. Because he is a part of this little family too, Lex, and it would hurt us all if you killed him."

"I would not kill him. Hit him violently, maybe," I commented, laughing slightly.

"Damn it, Lex. I am serious. Adhemar is a part..."

"I am serious, too, Ella. I do not care of what he is a part, though he is certainly not part of my family. I care nothing for him. For all it really matters, he is just another vampire running around this city." I turned to leave.

Ella came after me into the hall. I pulled my keys out and unlocked the door.

"You need to understand how important Adhemar is, Lex!" Ella shouted at my back.

"I will be back later," I said quietly into the door.

I opened the door and slipped into the cool night.

"Adhemar that and Adhemar this!" I shouted into the night as I walked down the street. "Damn Adhemar."

I stalked to Soterius' apartment through the darkened streets. As I approached the building, I jumped up on to the balcony cautiously, watching out for any signs of Soterius or Adhemar. I crouched on the side of the balcony, looking in to the dark apartment. I saw nothing.

Suddenly, I was attacked from behind and sent crashing to the ground. The impact felt like it had broken my spine. I lay motionless on the grass in front of the apartment building as Soterius jumped down, landing right next to me.

"Oh, it is you again. I can always recognize a scent. Lex, right?" he said coyishly, placing one leg on either side of me. He kneeled down over me and passed his recently healed eyes over my face. "Such a beautiful man."

Soterius kissed me gently on the lips. I tried vainly to move my arms, to move anything, but I could not. Soterius' tongue found its way into my mouth. I bit it forcefully. Soterius pulled back quickly, standing up over me.

"Damn boy," he muttered, checking his tongue, which slowly healed itself.

"Never do that again!" I shouted at him.

Soterius laughed at me. "What are you going to do, boy? You seem quite incapable of any movement right now."

"That may be the truth, but I will move again."

"Fine." Soterius crossed his arms in front of himself. "What has brought you back here again, Lex? Want to see if you can kill me?"

"It was an idea. But right now, I want to know where Adhemar is." I could start to fell my toes. I moved them slowly inside my boots.

"Out. I told him I would let him leave every once in a while to appease him. He is afraid of me, you know? Thinks I will follow him and hurt someone else. Sad thing when your own child is afraid of you, isn't it?"

"Stop, please. I think I might cry," I commented sarcastically. I started to get the feeling back in my fingers.

Soterius sat done on my pelvis. I made sure not to show any pain, so as to make him believe I was still paralyzed. He rocked himself on my hips. "I would think you would understand, considering you have your own."

"That is different. Sindor does not hate me." I tried to ignore Soterius' movements as best as I could.

"Sure he does. He hates you for leaving him. Both times, in fact."

"How did you know about that?"

"I can read minds. Nice attribution, no?"

"If you knew that Sindor was not Adhemar's, why did you insist on keeping him?" I asked angrily. I could now feel both my arms and legs.

"Because I also knew that they were together."

"What do you mean, together?"

Soterius stopped rocking. "You don't know about their little sleep together? Shame."

"What sleep?"

"While you were gone for those two weeks, they slept together."

"I do not believe you," I said angrily, turning my face away from him.

"Sure you do," he whispered into my ear. "Why else would you get so mad?"

I could not take any more. I wrapped my hands quickly around Soterius' neck. He placed his hands on top of mine, pulling at them. A smile spread on his face.

"What do you think you are going to do, Lex? Prevent air from going into me that I do not need? Shame on you, Lex. I thought better of you."

I grabbed harder, pushing my nails into his neck, using all my strength.

"Ow, Lex. That really hurts," Soterius remarked, trying to sound like it did not, as blood poured down his back.

I pushed my fingers further into his neck. Soterius' face showed his pain. I started to smile.

"You know, it would not have hurt as much if Adhemar had let me kill you with my sword. You can thank him for the pain you are experiencing. No wait, you should be dead shortly," I snickered.

Soterius struggled with me. He thrusted his knee into my chest. It hurt like hell, but I would not let go. He did it repeatedly as my fingers wrapped around his spine and I pulled it apart. Soterius stopped fighting me instantly. I pulled my hands out of Soterius' neck, and he fell to the ground. He lay motionless.

I looked down at my hands, finding them covered in blood. I wiped them on my shirt. I got up and found that I still hurt all over from my fall. I limped over to Soterius' body. I gently kicked at him. He did nothing. He did not even say a word.

I had finally gotten to a point where Soterius would never bother any one again. And I had no idea what to do next. I decided to leave him. Perhaps he would heal himself again. I was through with him. I had avenged Sindor. He had received what he deserved.

I left Soterius where he lay, because I was too weak to do anything with him. I figured Adhemar could take care of him whenever he found him.

I limped back to the school, all the while thinking about what Soterius had said about Adhemar and Sindor. I knew they were together in the house when I left, but I did not know they slept together. When I entered the school, I called out for Sindor. He was not there. I could sense it.

I placed a hand on the rail to the stairs to hold myself up. I grew angry as I waited from him to return. They did not take long. I stared at Sindor as he entered with Ella and Henmi. From his reaction, I must have been glaring at him, but I did not feel like I was. Ella and Henmi left us alone. Sindor stood ready for the scolding of a life time, but it was not in me. I was more hurt by Sindor's actions than angry by then. I knew I must have hurt Sindor when I was with Jay, but I never thought he would hurt me.

I turned away from him and headed towards the kitchen.

"Lex?" Sindor questioned timidly. "Lex, you are limping! Are you alright?" Sindor ran to me.

"Leave me alone, Sindor. You take Henmi back to the tavern to be with Adhemar and stay there tonight. I do not want you here," I stated roughly.

Sindor stopped in the hallway as I kept staggering towards the kitchen.

"Why, Lex? What happened?"

I ignored his questions. I moved into the kitchen and started for the basement when Ella stopped me.

"What is going on, Lex?"

"Nothing," I replied to her, opening the door and slipping onto the stairs. "Leave me alone, Ella."

I continued down the stairs and found my way through the darkness to the softest couch. I laid down and remained there alone until Ella came down closer to sunrise. She did not say anything to me though. I fell asleep soon after with tears in my eyes.

Alexander