Current...Past...Sin...Alexander...Forum...Notes...Survey...D-land

Whom To Choose?
2002-08-15 - 12:22 p.m.

The four of us headed to the heart of Paris in our hunt. It felt just like old times when Ella, Jay, and I would hunt together. Of course, Adhemar was not with us then, but he seemed to fit in nicely with our little group now.

As we strolled through the dark alleyways, I brought up this happy memory.

Ella commented with a laugh, "Of course I remember that. Those were great times."

"But things are different now," said Jay bitterly.

I stopped walking and turned to him. He stopped also, but he avoided my eyes.

"Come on, Adhemar. Let us leave them alone," whispered Ella, pulling on Adhemar's arm.

"Sure, if you think they will be okay," answered Adhemar.

As Ella and Adhemar continued down the alley and around the corner, Jay's eyes finally landed on mine. He looked angry and distant.

"I told you that I was with Sin now. Why can you not accept that?" I said quietly into the silence.

He stared at me quivering with anger, and I could see he did not care to hear about it.

"Let us go. I am hungry," I said bitterly, turning from Jay.

Suddently Jay's arms wrapped around me from behind. As I placed my hands on top of his to remove them, he whispered in my ear, "I don't want you to leave me again, Lex."

"I have too, Jay," I replied.

"I won't let you go this time."

"You can not keep me here. My place is with Sindor now."

"I am your maker, Lex. I know everything about you. And I know how to keep you here," he said slyly.

I pulled his arms off me and turned to face him. "What do you mean by that?"

He smiled slyly. "I will do whatever it takes, Lex, to not lose you again."

"You will not touch him!" I shouted into the night.

Jay laughed. "Why do you do this to yourself, Lex? You will never turn him. He is too precious. You may be a killer, but you would never touch an innocent."

"I turned my sister," I began.

"That is different, Lex. She is family. And she could not live without you. She would have found a way to be with you forever even if you did not change her. Sindor is just some play toy to you."

"Do not say that!"

"But it is true. You were lonely when you fled to New Orleans, and you needed someone, because I was not there for you. After you found that brat, what did you do? You came running back to me! How much does this Sin mean to you really?"

I wanted to hit him. I could not though. I had too much respect for my maker. And I suppose lingering love. I turned around and walked away. Jay's shouts echoed after me.

"There you go running away again! Who are you going to run to this time?"

I stopped. A tear fell from my eye, leaving a blood trail on my face. I wiped it away and turned around. Jay was walking away from me. My thoughts raced in my head. If I go to him, I can never go back to Sin. He would not take me. But if I do not go to Jay, I might never see him again. Jay might also hurt Sin, or even kill him. Can I really live with Sin, knowing that I would never be strong enough to change him? He will just keep asking me again and again to be turned. Would I actually give in to him? Just to make him stop asking? I have never lived with a human like this. Can I really let Sindor grow old and die? Or will I let Jay kill him to end this pain inside of me? No, I could not do that. But I can not be pressured back into Jay's arms by his threats on Sindor's life. I do not know what to do.

I started walking after Jay.

Alexander