Current...Past...Sin...Alexander...Forum...Notes...Survey...D-land

Questioning the Darkness
2002-08-15 - 6:08 p.m.

When I arrived, I found Adhemar sitting outside of Jay's house by himself. My first thought was that he had said something wrong, and that Jay had locked him out. I wouldn't blame Jay�

"Get real, Arnon!" he said, reading my thoughts. "He isn't even back, yet."

"He's not? What about Alexander?" I asked.

"Nope. When her highness and I got back a while ago, they hadn't returned yet, so we waited a while, but they still didn't come," Adhemar began. "So her highness left a few minutes ago to look for them."

A slight panic overcame me, and I said, "I'll go look, too."

"Hey, Arnon," he said, pulling me down to sit next to him. "Look, I don't know the city. You don't know the city. Let's just stay here 'till they come back, all right?"

"But, what if--"

"Don't worry, kid. He's fine."

"How do you know?" I asked.

Adhemar smirked. "I don't."

I sighed and laid back against the steps, my hands behind my head. "Are you always this optimistic?"

"Only around you, Arnon," he answered.

"�Why?"

"Hmm?"

"Why only me?" I asked.

"Because I can't tell what anyone else is thinking. I can with you, and you are pretty angsty, kid."

"I just�" I began. "I� made him angry. I didn't mean to, but�"

"Arnon, he understands how you feel," Adhemar replied.

"Then why doesn't he make me like him? I want to be like him. I can't stand being like this all of the time." I closed my eyes and sighed.

"This isn't an easy life, kid."

"That's what he said," I replied. "But why? I don't understand, Adhemar."

"�Well, kid, you think you're lonely now, but it gets worse when you're like us."

"I don't see how it could. Alexander and I would be together, wouldn't we?" I asked.

"But what about you? You'd be a vampire among legions of humans. You wouldn�t be able to stand not being like everyone else any more. And what about Henmi?" he asked.

"I� don't know. It's not like I wouldn't be able to see him if I was a vampire," I said.

"But you would want to turn him," Adhemar answered.

"I wouldn't. Henmi couldn't deal with a life like that."

"There," Adhemar began. "Now you see how Alexander must feel. He probably thinks you're an innocent, Arnon, and he doesn't want to take your humanity away. Being a vampire is wretched, kid. The moment you're turned, you become a murderer. Do you really want that?"

"You don't really have to kill people," I said. "Remember? You and Ella on the boat�"

"That was difficult, Arnon," he began. "I can't believe we pulled it off�"

"But it is possible, then," I stated.

"Look, if you really want it, you're going to have to try harder. He seems like the stubborn type."

"I don't know what to do, Adhemar," I said. "It� hurts."

"It'll hurt even more if you get turned, kid."

"If your master had given you a choice, would you have said yes?" I asked.

"I don't know, kid. I might have. But my master was charismatic, so� He could have persuaded me to say yes. I guess my being a vampire is inevitable," he said with a sigh.

"�Why did Alexander turn Ella, then?" I asked.

"She never told me, kid. But they're brother and sister, after all."

"Then why won't he�? Oh, why do I bother? I hate this, being in love. It hurts." I sat back up and leaned forward, resting my head on my hands.

"I� don't know what it's like, or I'd try to say something to cheer you up," Adhemar began. "Just don't think about getting turned, kid, because I'm not sure that he'll do it."

"Would you turn someone if they asked you to?" I asked.

"Never."

"Why not?"

"Because they would be miserable, that's why," he answered quickly.

"Are you?" I asked.

He paused for a moment before answering, "�I don't know."

I sighed and stood up to stretch my arms. "Do you think Ella will be able to find them?" I asked.

"Of course." He smiled. "She'll be back any minute dragging their sorry corpses back here."

"I hope you're right�" I looked down the street to my left and right and saw no one. I hope he's all right� I sat back down next to Adhemar and waited for Alexander to return.

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