Current...Past...Sin...Alexander...Forum...Notes...Survey...D-land

Bitter Discussions
2002-08-20 - 3:27 p.m.

After we made love that night, Sindor fell asleep in my arms. I remained awake, watching him. My thoughts were with him as well. How could I have come here, bringing Jay back into my life? I should have known that Sin would come after me. I have to stay with Sindor now. I must, for him and me. He truly needs me.

"I will never leave you again," I whispered to his sleeping form.

The next night, Sindor asked if we could see Ella and Adhemar, since we had to tell them about the trip. I agreed, and we were soon at their apartment. After we told them about the trip, Adhemar took Sin aside to talk, though I am not sure why, leaving Ella and me alone.

"Why did you do it, Lex? Were you not thinking of how it would affect Sindor?" Ella hissed at me in anger.

"Ella, please, calm down about this. Jay and I are over now, and Sin will never find out," I replied, placing my hands on her shoulders.

"I do not see how you could be this cruel. You are hurting him."

"I am not hurting..." I was interupted by Adhemar.

"So when do we leave?" he asked, walking over.

"The ship leaves in four days, but we should get a coach to the coast in three, because the ship leaves early in the evening," I replied.

"And what about our coffins?" Ella asked.

"I have taken care of that. There is no need to worry," I said.

"Good," said Ella, still angry at me. "I am going hunting."

"See you later, Arnon. Al," said Adhemar as he left after Ella.

"Did something happen between you and Ella?" asked Sindor.

"Nothing. I need to feed too," I said, changing the subject. I did not want to talk to Sin about it.

"I have to eat too. So why don't you go after them, and I'll go to that tavern. I will see you back at the apartment."

"Alright."

I walked out to the street with Sindor right behind me, and then kissed Sindor good bye. I then wandered in the dark alleys searching for a victum. I soon passed a tavern that I used to frequent. I took my chances and entered it.

The barkeep was the same old man that was here a couple of years ago. He recognized me instantly and called to me.

As I sat down on a stool at the counter, he said to me, "Long time, no see, Monsieur Alexander. How have you been?"

"I have been alright. And you, David?"

"Not too bad."

"And your daughter?"

"She is just fine. Found herself a very good husband."

"That is great."

"So, how come you left Paris?"

"How did you know I left Paris?"

"You friend, Adonis, told me."

"Oh, well, I just had to leave. Personal reasons."

"And you are entitled to them."

Someone else craved the barkeep's attention, so I walked up to the balcony to see our old place. I was surprised to see Jay. Especially surrounded by a number of young men. He looked up at me and then away.

"What are you doing here?" he asked bitterly, playing with the ear of a young boy on his lap.

"I just came to see our old place," I answered.

"Well, you aren't welcome here!" he shouted, pushing the boy off his lap as he jumped up.

Jay pushed past me down the stairs, and I followed him out of the tavern.

"Stop following me!" he shouted angrily.

"Why are you doing this? Please, stop," I said.

He stopped and turned around, glaring at me.

"Stop what? Stop feeling angry about this? Stop loving you? What?" he yelled.

"Yes, stop being angry. I do not want to leave you like this."

"Then don't, Lex!"

"I have to. And in three days time, I will be leaving."

Jay looked away. "I wanted to be with you forever, Lex, the moment I saw you. I knew that. I thought you could never leave me. I thought we were in love. But no! You left me, and you are going to do it again, with that damn human! I can't stop feeling angry about this, Lex, and I will never be your friend. You have to choose between me or Sin! You can not have both!"

Jay turned and ran away. I stood there staring after him, while tears flowed freely down my cheeks. I hated what he had just said to me. I meandered back to my apartment, completely depressed. I had really hoped that Jay would not be so mad at me, but deep down I knew he would never be.

I went straight for my coffin and remained there, thinking about what I had just done to the first person I had ever truly loved. I did not even hear Sin come home.

Alexander