Current...Past...Sin...Alexander...Forum...Notes...Survey...D-land

Midnight Thoughts
2002-08-29 - 5:28 p.m.

The following evening I found myself wandering around on the upper decks by myself. When I had awakened, Sin was asleep on one of the beds, and Ella and Adhemar had yet to rise. So I left the room quietly and went to the deck.

I found it peaceful as I watched the gently rolling water underneath the ship. We had gone already a great distance from France during the day, so no land was in sight. It was just the ocean, but I did not mind that.

I was lost in thought as I stared out to sea. Will I eventually turn him? Or will I just run away again when his asking becomes more than I can handle? Will he even bother to ask me any more? Now that he knows what he is truly asking.

Despite my thoughts of Sin, my mind still floated back across the ocean to Jay. I hated leaving the way I did. I had hoped that our last venture into the bedroom was going to help Jay to accept my leaving, but it did not. And I hated that. I hated thinking that Jay was truly depressed about this, and I hated myself for going back to him. It was all my fault, and I accepted it, but I still hate what I did to him.

I vowed that night to not hurt Sindor like I hurt Jay, and I vowed to become friends with Jay again. One day. Probably a long time from now, but still, one day.

I stayed there by myself for another hour or so. Then Ella found me.

She whispered to me, "Adhemar and I were thinking about going in on a victum so that we do not attract to much attention by killing three people every night."

"If you insist, but how many people can we find on this ship to feed on?" I asked.

"I have been finding a few. And if necessary, Adhemar has his own ways of feeding," said Ella slyly.

"Oh," I replied with a smirk. "Well, I can do without tonight. And it would be better if we did not kill a person every night. We should wait until tomorrow. If you can too, that is."

"I will be fine. Adhemar though might object, but he can feed if he wants."

I nodded at her, and then turned back to the sea.

"Sindor is awake now. He was asking for you," said Ella.

I nodded again as she walked off the deck.

I was not sure if I wanted to see Sin. I did tell Ella I would be fine, but I was still craving blood. I noticed a rat scamper across the deck, and I went after it. I killed it silently in the shadows, so as not to be seen. I threw the rat overboard and walked back to the cabin, slightly satisfied.

Sindor was alone. He looked at me happily when he saw me. I sat down on the bed with him.

"Did you get anything to eat?" he asked me.

"I should be asking you that question. But, yes." I did not want Sindor to know I had a rat though.

"I had food earlier," he informed me.

"Alright."

"Adhemar and Ella said they were going to be up on deck for awhile."

"Alright."

Sindor seemed unable to control himself as he threw his arms around me and kissed me.

We remained together that night, holding each other in that dimly lit cabin.

Alexander