Current...Past...Sin...Alexander...Forum...Notes...Survey...D-land

Farewells.
2003-07-14 - 10:28 p.m.

A voice, familiar, but distant, gradually coming closer and closer to me. The very sound of this voice petrified me, made my blood run cold. I wanted to get away from it.

I opened my eyes with a jolt and found myself in my coffin. I sighed and shivered, my fear gradually leaving. I could not remember the last time I had a nightmare, and I wondered why I had seen one this morning. I wondered what all of it meant.

I was still in Alexander's arms, just as I had been last night. He was awake and waiting for me, just like he had been the evening before. I wondered why he always woke before I did. Perhaps, I decided, it was because younger vampires needed more sleep, just like human children needed more sleep than adults.

"Are you alright, Sindor?" Alexander asked softly.

I nodded, though not entirely sure of myself.

Alexander held me tightly in his arms for a few moments, until I was calmer.

Changing the subject, in an attempt to brighten my mood, Alexander asked, "Are you excited?" He was, of course, referring to our trip.

"Yes," I said, smiling.

In truth, I was actually rather nervous. On all of our other trips, I had been able to be in the cabin with my vampire companions and would be available to send any humans away that came to our door during the daytime. But now Alexander and I were both vampires, and I was worried about our well-being. Suppose a human came into our room during the day? I was beyond nervous now, and rather scared. But I did not speak of this to anyone, for I did not want to trouble them with my fears.

Alexander kissed me, gently, as if he understood my anxiety and was trying to soothe it. Everything he did made me love him more.

"Come," he said. "Let's get ready so we can be on our way. We should feed before we get on the ship, and we should say goodbye to the others."

"Alright," I agreed, rising out of our coffin with him. We decided that we should put all of our belongings inside our coffin, and then empty it out once we reached our room in the ship, just so we did not have to carry everything there separately.

Afterwards, Alexander told me that he would get Ella to help him take the coffin downstairs, and that I should go say goodbye to Henmi. I nodded, and did just that.

I walked to Henmi's room and knocked gently on the door. A moment later, he answered the door, his hair a bit disheveled, as if he had just awoken. "Sin?" he said.

"Can I come in, Henmi?" I asked. He nodded and let me enter. Adhemar was not in the room.

He sighed and sat down on his bed, and said, "Do you really have to leave, Sin?"

"Yes," I replied. "I want to go. I want to be there for Alexander no matter what. I know that I can help him on this trip, and I will enjoy his company very much."

"It is just like before," Henmi said. "And there will be no one here who loves me�"

"What are you saying?" I asked, confused. "Adhemar loves you."

"But for how long? I'll die sooner or later after all," Henmi said, averting his eyes. "He won't turn me�"

"He whispers sacred Egyptian words to you, goes out with you all the time, and you think he's going to leave you?!" I shouted.

"I didn't say that," Henmi retorted. "But relationships like this are fragile. He would much prefer an immortal. Adhemar could leave at any moment and you know it."

"And I wouldn't leave?" I asked hotly.

"Of course not," Henmi replied angrily. "You are family, after all."

I grabbed him by the shoulders roughly. "Adhemar is your family too. Don't you realize that your friends, your lover� they are the family you choose! You chose to let Adhemar in, and now he is here, and he loves you."

"But it won't always be so," Henmi said, averting his eyes again. "He'll live forever, you'll live forever, and I'll die, won't I? Will you even care?"

"Are you mad?!" I shook him once with emphasis. "You are so hell-bent on becoming immortal. It is not a glamorous life."

"But you wanted it, you were given it, so why can't I have it?" Henmi asked turning his fierce gaze back to me.

"Adhemar will turn you or not turn you as he sees fit," I replied.

Henmi laughed bitterly. "He will never turn me."

"And nor will I," I replied, gritting my teeth. "Now stop this talk immediately. You mean to trouble me with this before I leave?"

"I will trouble you with it until I receive it," he answered maliciously.

I shook my head angrily at him. All of this talk made me irate, but I could not help but think that Henmi was acting in a manner similar to how I acted around Alexander. My anger dissipated a little with understanding. Henmi was living in a house full of vampires, he the minority in the household; how could he not be expected to want to be like the rest of us?

I did not want to leave with tension between us; I knew if I did, it would make me miserable on the trip. I sighed and held Henmi to me, embracing him tightly. He tensed, not wanting any affection from me.

"Henmi, listen to yourself," I said gently. "Adhemar knows you want to be like us. We all know. Just not now. You know, you are several years younger than all of us. Perhaps Adhemar is waiting for you to grow up a little."

"No, he's not�" Henmi said, his voice now calmer as well. He relaxed in my arms. "It's just� if I'm like you, then you and Adhemar will never leave me� we'll always be together� But while I'm like this, I� I cannot be sure that Adhemar will stay�"

"Henmi, listen to me," I said, looking him in the face. "Adhemar loves you. If he was capricious, if he wanted to leave you, don't you think he would have done so before now?"

"I don't know�" Henmi replied. "There is nothing about me to like. Why does he stay? I don't understand�"

I looked up at the door, and found Adhemar leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed, listening in on our conversation.

How long have you been listening? I asked nervously.

Long enough, he replied.

Henmi seemed to notice that he was no longer holding my attention, for he looked up towards the door as well. His jaw dropped slightly, and he then turned his head back to me, ashamed at everything he had said. "I�I'm sorry�" Henmi gasped.

Adhemar� I said in a somewhat pleading tone, hoping that Adhemar was not angry with Henmi.

It's alright, Arnon. "Henmi, come here," Adhemar said calmly.

Henmi flinched in my arms, as if he had been hit. I released him and whispered, "Go on."

He slowly walked over to Adhemar, his eyes to the ground. Henmi stood before Adhemar for a moment in silence, then threw his arms around Adhemar in a tight hug. "I-I'm sorry, Adhemar! I didn't mean it! Please� please forgi--"

"Shh�" Adhemar soothed, holding Henmi as well. "It's alright. I know you are upset because Sindor is leaving. But it'll be just fine. I'll be here with you, and I'll never leave you. I love you, Henmi Arnon. You know that."

Henmi nodded against Adhemar, trying to fight back tears. "I love you, too� so much� but I just want to be like you�"

"And I want to be like you, Henmi," Adhemar said, to the surprise of both myself and Henmi. "I don't want to be a vampire. I want to be like you. There. We're even, then."

Henmi didn't answer, seeming not to know how to respond.

Adhemar continued, his speech very passionate, "You think vampires are better than humans, but in truth, we are inferior. We are murderers, thieves, taking everything we wish without thinking of how our actions will affect humans. We kill someone every night, Henmi. Don't you think those people we kill have others that love them, that care about them? We crush dreams, Henmi. We destroy hope and love that has been built up over many years just to get a meal for one night. You could never deal with that, my love, and I would rather die a second death than bring you into this ungodly world of ours."

Henmi still said nothing, his brow creased, letting Adhemar's words sink in.

Wow, I said to Adhemar sarcastically. You could be an actor or something..

He smirked at me. And you could be a comedian, kid.

"I'm sorry, Adhemar�" Henmi said. "I am just worried� What is going to happen when I get older?"

"Well, we'll worry about that when the time comes, alright?" Adhemar answered optimistically.

Henmi nodded, not entirely accepting of that answer.

"Oh, I seem to have forgotten the reason I came up here�" Adhemar said. "Lex wants you downstairs, Sindor. Time to leave, of course. Hope he isn't angry that I delayed you�"

"It'll be alright," I replied. "I� well, I'll miss you both a lot�"

Adhemar released Henmi and said, "Say goodbye, my dear."

Henmi hugged me once more, saying, "I'll miss you too, Sin. Come back soon, okay?"

"I will, Henmi," I answered. "I love you."

"'Love you, Sin," he replied, releasing me.

Adhemar embraced me next, holding me tightly against him. Love you too, Sindor, he said with a slightly playful tone. I blushed and pulled away from him.

Adhemar smiled and said, "Have fun, kid. Don't overdo the fencing practice�"

Henmi looked up at Adhemar questioningly, and I felt my blush deepen. "Yes, I'll be sure not to," I replied. Adhemar snorted in amusement.

"Anyway," Adhemar said. "You'd best go downstairs now." He pushed me towards the door. "Goodbye, then Arnon. See you in a few months."

"Bye, Sin�" Henmi said.

"Bye, Henmi, Adhemar." I hugged them both once more before walking downstairs to find Alexander. He stood at the front door with Ella, our coffin on the ground next to them. They both looked up at me as I approached them.

"I'm sorry Alexander�" I said. "I shouldn't have taken that long� We aren't late, are we?"

"No, we are not, Sindor; do not worry," he replied. "But we should leave now so we will be able to feed before the ship takes off."

I nodded. After I said goodbye to Ella, Alexander and I lifted our coffin and left the school, walking towards the docks. I looked behind me once more at the school, knowing how much I was going to miss it. But I knew I would be alright, for Alexander would be with me.

When we arrived at the boat, we entered and set our coffin in our room, receiving odd glances from other passengers, of course. We exited the boat to feed quickly, and then re-entered the ship just before it was about to sail off. In our cabin, I looked outside the tiny circular window at the city we were leaving behind, and hoped that we would have a safe and pleasant journey.

*All the rights to Sindor (the graphics and text included) belong to Leah Jenner. No reproduction or republication without written permission.