Current...Past...Sin...Alexander...Forum...Notes...Survey...D-land

The First Evening Onboard
2003-08-05 - 2:30 p.m.

I suggested to Sindor that after we packed up our things inside the coffin that he say good bye to Henmi. I myself wanted a little alone time with my own sister in truth, though Sindor did need his own time. He agreed with me and left me at the top of the stairs as he went towards Henmi's room. As I descended downstairs to find Ella, I heard Sindor knocking on the door.

I found Ella in the dim kitchen, sitting at the table and speaking to Sebrine. She looked up at me as I entered. A smile crossed over her beautiful face, followed by a frown.

"Are you sure you need to do this?" she asked as Sebrine purred gently up at me from her feet.

"Yes. At least now I am not going alone in the middle of the night, leaving everything behind me," I replied, kneeling down to caress Sebrine behind the ears.

"I suppose you are right. I am just going to miss you, that is all," she said quietly, trying to wipe a tear from her eye before I saw it.

"Oh, Ella." I crawled over to her and wrapped my arms around her waist. "You will be fine here, and Sindor and I will be home before you know it. It is not like we are leaving and never coming back."

"I know that," she said with a slight laugh. She brushed back a few stray locks from my forehead. She kissed me. "I just hope you find what you are looking for and return to me."

I straightened myself, and looking deeply into her eyes, I said very seriously, "I will always come back to you, Ella."

She nodded her head as another tear streaked her face. Sebrine got up and pushed her head into Ella's lap, purring loudly. We both laughed.

"I will miss you too, my sweet Sebrine," I said, once again caressing her ears.

You better, she replied to me.

I looked back at my sister. "I need your help," I said to her. "I let Sindor say good bye to Henmi so that he did not have to carry down the coffin. But that means I need your help to do so."

"Of course. Can not even get dressed without me, huh?" She straightened out my scarf.

I smiled at her, and she returned the gesture. I rose from the floor, and she followed me up the stairs to my bedroom. Adhemar met us at the bottom

as we descended the stairs with the heavy coffin.

As Ella and I laid the coffin down at the front door, Adhemar extended a hand to me. "So long, Lex."

I took his hand and shook it. "You look after this family while I am away, you hear?" I instructed.

"But of course," he replied, smiling. "I will go get Sindor for you."

"Good. Tell him to hurry up or we will be late," I called up after him.

"When does the ship leave?" asked Ella, as we stood by the front door, awaiting Sindor to come down.

I retrieved our boarding passes from my coat pocket and checked. "Nine o'clock. That leaves little time for us to feed before we leave." I returned the boarding passes.

"And when do you return?"

"Not sure on that one. I have not booked any such passage home. I will send you a letter when we decide to leave, alright?" I responded.

"I will await it then, but do not spend too much time there."

"We will spend enough. You do know what to do with the classes, right?"

"Yes, you have taught me well, after all." She smiled.

"And if you have any problems, send letters to this address." I passed her a slip of paper with an address of a hotel in Paris. "That is where I plan on staying."

"In style, I see."

Sindor came crashing down the stairs then. "I'm sorry Alexander..." he said. "I shouldn't have taken that long... We aren't late, are we?"

"No, we are not, Sindor; do not worry," I replied. "But we should leave now so we will be able to feed before the ship takes off."

He nodded and said good bye to Ella. I hugged my sister tightly before I left.

"I love you, baby sister," I whispered into her ear.

"I love you, too," she replied. "Be sure to send my love to Wil, Charlie, and Abby for me."

"Of course."

Sindor and I picked up our coffin and hurried to the docks. After boarding and dropping off the coffin in our cabin, we rushed out to feed. Once we were back on the ship, we returned to our room to become settled.

As I took out our things from the coffin on one of the beds, Sindor looked out the little window.

"Are you alright, Sindor?" I asked, pulling out shirts to place in the small dresser bolted to the floor.

Sindor did not answer me. I glanced over at him. He had a longing look in his eyes that took him far away from our little cabin.

The ship started moving before Sindor finally returned to reality. He looked over at me and asked, "What did you say, Lex?"

"I said, are you alright?"

"Oh sure, I couldn't be more excited." He crossed the room and hugged me tightly. "Thank you for taking me along."

"Of course, Sindor, but that is not what I meant." I pushed Sindor away to look into his eyes. "What happened when you saw Henmi?"

Sindor looked away from me. He sat down on the empty bed and pulled his legs up to his chest, placing his arms around them to hold them in place. He looked toward the window again, this time not being able to see through it as he was not high enough.

"Sin?"

After another pause, Sindor replied to me in a rushed and shaky voice. "Henmi decided that tonight was the night he was going to become disgruntled with his life... and.. and Adhemar. Henmi wants so much to be like us, he is filled with hate that we have not turned him, especially Adhemar. And because of this stupid hate, he believes Adhemar doesn't love him. But of course Adhemar loves him. He just can't bring himself to kill Henmi. What a horrible thought!" Sindor was breathing hard now, barely able to control himself.

I sat next to him and held him to calm him down. "It is alright Sindor. Henmi was just worried about you. He probably though that if he brought it up, you would stay," I suggested.

"Oh, Lex!" shouted Sin, pushing away from me. His eyes burned into mine. "Why did he have to do this to me right before I left? Now he is there, feeling all alone, and I am going on a trip with months between my next visit with him."

"Maybe there is nothing you can do for him. He just needs time to figure out what he wants. If Henmi has decided that all he wants is to be a vampire and no one is going to give it to him, then he is going to have to figure out for himself that he needs to change his attitude. You can not help him on this road."

"Why not? I was in his position, why can I not..."

"And you would still be in his position, Sindor," I blurted out in a rush of unknown anger. Sindor recoiled from me even further. I calmed down and continued, "If you had not been so close to dying, Sindor, I would have never killed you. You would still be human, I am sure of that."

"But Lex."

"'But, Lex,' nothing, Sindor. It is the truth. You are not the person to be talking to Henmi about his situation. Before you came down with that disease, you still had being a vampire on your mind. And if I had not changed you, you might have continued to beg me for it. Even if you stopped asking for it, it would have still been on your mind. You received what you wanted Sindor. You can not share with Henmi your feelings, because you are on the other side of them. Do you not see that?"

Sindor looked away from me, defeated. "Is there nothing I can do for him?"

"You can love him. Send him letters if you want. But I want you to enjoy this trip with me. Not to be constantly thinking of your little brother. He will be fine without you for a little while. He has Adhemar and Ella still, and he can always talk with them."

Sindor nodded slowly.

"Come on, I think you need a walk up on deck." I pulled Sindor off the bed, and we walked up to the deck.

I think the open air and quiet of the sea calmed Sindor down enough to enjoy the first evening on board the ship. We talked very little as we watched the passing water, and I think that helped too.

Before the sun rose, we sauntered back to our cabin arm in arm. We feared nothing as mostly everyone else was asleep. After we entered the cabin, I turned to the lock and made sure it was secure enough for the daylight hours. Then Sindor and I laid down in our coffin for our daily rest.

"Everything will be alright, Sindor. You will see," I whispered to him in the darkness of the coffin.

"I hope so," he replied softly, wrapping his arms around my waist.

Alexander